Balance

In the interests of this not appearing a totally idyllic story I have put some thought into what is not right about living here. Having read other blogs recently I considered steering clear of the trusty list. But, I have to say this is obviously the easiest way to describe what you think - so apologies - but this is what is in my head:

What is troublesome:

1. Greenfly come in through the bath room window and die in their thousands on the loo floor
2. My car exhaust has a massive hole in it from driving up and down the badly kept lane to our home.
3. There has been mud EVERYWHERE!
4. People ask if they should take off their shoes when they visit us.
5. We are all in one bedroom and we have no curtains...I wake up every day at sunrise
6. My clothes hang on a half made wardrobe or piled on the side and seem to grow in front of me
7. I keep shopping in Tesco! I disappear for a chicken and come home eighty pounds lighter. Clever people!

The big dig finally began this week with the top soil removed at a pace of knots. The first machine that arrived was not much bigger than Jack, and the poor sod kept having his front bucket come off. Either which way though, Matt, the chap that is making all of the difference, did a fantastic job and within one day had cleared about a quarter of the land. Alf announced that Matt was the best person he had ever met as he had made us a tennis court and a footie pitch in one swift move.

Day two a big mean machine arrived and off they went. It looks amazing and our 'bund' is great against the neighbour’s boundary. The boys run up and down it, the dogs think it is the best for smells and Jeff and I stand on top and survey our land! In a week we have to work out how to grass the whole garden...

The big dig continues this week and by Wednesday the whole site should be cleared. The guy in charge got out of his cab the other day and shocked me as he is even taller than J. About 6 and a half foot of niceness...

All happy and about to be awakened to the joys of grass seed...

Dip

I can now speak with experience.

On Thursday I came home from work early to pick the boys up from school. It was absolutely scorching. We came home and did the usual mucking about, eating tea, getting into pj's and finally getting them into bed. I then went for a wander - you guessed it - straight down to the river. I sat with my feet almost dangling in, deciding that the 6 foot drop from my vantage point could not be where the boys and Jeff had gone in. Then I upped sticks and walked around to the river bend and the mass of garlic. To say I was underdressed for my lonely adventure would be an understatement. I became completely surrounded by stingers and decided there was only one way to my goal. I began to shout for Jeff!

Finally, I think he may have decided that I had fallen in and hot footed down to the river to find me standing stock still amongst my bed of nettles. Always the gentleman he made a clear path and helped me through - but only once he realised I was trying to get into the river and not just being a princess. Anyway, kit off down to brass-ear and knicks and I bravely ventured forth. Your feet sink in right to the tops of your ankles at the river bend and I did do a lot of screeching. Jeff jumped in and offered me his arm and off I eventually launched. The boys are right - as soon as you round the bend the floor becomes gravel and hard underfoot and the water is just delicious - cool and tinglely. I finally climbed up through one of the trees roots and was back on dry bank.

The rest of this weekend we have been on holiday. We did not leave the shed, but with the sun shining and the Jeff-made barbeque, if has felt as if we are in another country. My sis and her new little family came on saturday and we chilled in the garden eating, drinking and just having a wonderful relaxed time. We were all presented with Massey Ferguson caps , thoughtfully discovered by Simon - so we really look the part driving Jack now!

When they left on Saturday night the family C hit the river. All four of us - Chas in swimmies and wellies and Alf in swimmies and Crocs - jumped in to cool off the day's fun.

I lost my shoes in the mud but became a very cool mum as I went for a proper swim whilst Jeff just did a walk up and down. I have a sneaking suspicion that Jeffers did not swim just to make me look better and braver for my boys...I will take the glory anyway.

Alf has developed championship level tennis on the car parking bit of tarmac - amazingly he takes on anyone and still wins - but some of the rules remain rather difficult to follow. Old fart that I am, I have today written to Radio 4 offering Alfie and Charlie's services as guerila reporter on all things Transformer. Having seen them decide to put their 8 week old cousin through a master class in Bumblebee and Optimus Prime I have decided that they are ready for the nation! Not sure if the life on Cybertron is up to the Radio 4 standards, but you never know.

If you are of a sensitive disposition, please look away now...

One of the aspects of baking hot sunshine in our household is that Henry develops his 'summer balls' I know this is not really the kind of things that you may want to read about - but it really makes me laugh. This big white dog poddeling along everywhere with the biggest, pinkest set of you-know-whats! My mum has always said I should knit him some knickers and with the heat as high as it has been this weekend - I think she may be right.

Still no sign of the big dig...maybe monday? you never know...I may yet get to tell you about the big pile of mud if they eventually ever get here.

Happy and very red!

Swim

Did not have to be Sherlock Holmes tonight to realise that there had been some fun and games at the Shed without me!

I walked in after a hot old day in London, to find two little sets of wet swimmies lying on the living room floor...aha I thought, Jeffers' little river plan has come into action and sure enough cuddled up in bed were two rather excited little boys. You will have to forgive me if this is wrong in translation, but I have heard of the adventure second hand...(shame)

Having come home from school the River Mole took over. Jeff and the lads wandered down to the river bank in fetching swimming trunks and took the plunge. When Jeff had to jump in after the Henry about 4 months ago the river was freezing and right up to his chest. Tonight apparently it was cool and now only as high as the top of Alf's tum. They tried to walk around the bend but came across a very muddy riverbed and a slight sinking feeling. Once they moved back on to the straight bit the floor is gravelly and hard under foot. Alf walked through the water to the opposite riverbank and climbed out to run around on the field facing us which he delights in the fact is 'public' and, therefore, he can charge around at will.

They were beyond excitement. I think I am going to have to warm up to joining in as I am still not quite there on 'swimming with the fishes'.

I learnt something yesterday that has quite caught my imagination. Desire lines.

A definition for you:

Desire lines (or natural desire lines, as they're also called) are those well-worn ribbons of dirt that you see cutting across a patch of grass, often with nearby sidewalks — particularly those that offer a less direct route — ignored. In winter, desire lines appear spontaneously as tramped down paths in the snow. I love that these paths are never perfectly straight. Instead, like a river, they meander this way and that, as if to prove that desire itself isn't linear and (literally, in this case) straightforward.

We have created our own set of desire lines in the garden and the most marked one is the one that leads straight to the woods and river and then across the top of the river bank and through the bluebells. It is wonderful how your feet show your true feelings about a place! (goodness me that was deep - maybe I am a bit tired!)

Amazingly the big digger boys may be here tomorrow...it has not rained and the weather forecast is good so everything crossed work on the earth may begin this week - mud here we come. Interestingly the onset of big big machines and diggers seems to have caught the interest of every man I have told. Must be something to do with men and machines or even boys with their toys. I do hope they come as I can't wait to see what the land looks like completely clear and flat.

Oh, by the way, I may have changed my mind a bit about wild garlic - my god - in the heat it hums! Maybe we shall have just a small area from now on - I can feel a bit of ultra gardening coming on.

All happy and hopeful.