Gappy 2

I have just been pulling the house apart (doesn't take long in a bijou little residence like this) but I have been hunting the camera...seems to have been taken my Mr Turtle - not my pet name for J - but rather the chap who lived here before...so why the search for the snapper...

Well, having told Chas that he would have to wait at least 700 days to have a visit from the tooth fairy, he continues his precociousness and has lost his first tooth! I found Alf and his friend Dan on Friday afternoon armed with some loo roll and pinning little brother to the floor as they tugged on the said tooth. Got there just in time!

The very next day Charlie chucked what he thought was a horrid hard nut across the floor - the offending thing had been found in a caramel biscuit - but, then Mum and Alf had to spend 10 mins on the floor hunting the baby tooth. Tooth fairy was incredibly generous and left a hefty two pounds!

The boys have broken up for the holidays now and I am feeling slightly queasy having just spent the last 20 mins licking paper chains! I used to pooh pooh the gaudiness of paper links and have refused to have them in every other house (what a snob!), but they now adorn the kitchen and I am feeling rather proud of myself.

Today felt a little like I had been released from jail. It absolutely bucketed down all day yesterday and I and the boys climbed the walls - here and at Mum's. This morning I ventured outside at about 8am and the whole place was covered in a wonderful eerie mist. The river has once again swept over the neighbouring field - but under first proper test - we did not sink! We have had to sand bag one corner of the Shed - but compared to last year that is child's play.

The river will soon take on a new level of importance for us, as J has been ebaying! We are now the proud owners of the £150 1960 motor boat. It is currently moored up at Auntie Anne's as J manages to fix the holes and gets the outboard motor working and then come Christmas Day the boys (I may jump in - not sure yet how girly I will be feeling) will apparently be cruising off down the Mole. This is an adventure of its own as neither J nor I have the slightest idea how far along from our little bend we can actually go. They may have to buzz for 20 foot and then have to turn around and return, but nothing ventured...

I have a New Year resolution...learn to light a b****y fire! I have been back in the shed for the past hour without J. I have just found myself asking the 7 year old how to get a fire going! How hard can this be...I know my problem is a complete lack of patience.

Hooray J is back - we shall be warm - we shall....

It has been a while!

Well not sure where to start here...

In keeping with my usual theme - let's do the weather!

The other week the winter arrived and we were freezing! Sounds ridiculous that living in a house without central heating that I should be cold...but the cold weather appeared with such a shock - we were not ready! The last vestige of normal heating is a storage heater we have in the bedroom which just knocks the worst off the night. Anyway, having spent the last 2 weeks going to bed almost fully clothed and under 3 layers each, Jeff discovered that at some point we had turn the lumpy old thing off at the fuse box. We have now spent the last week in the relative luxury of warmth! My god I was cold before!

The outside puddles have been frozen into ice pools for the past 2 weeks, but with the fire going (oh, ok and the storage heater turned back on) we are warm and very very cozy.

We have slipped very happily into our sunday lunch routine and have spent many a Sunday afternon lying on the sofa when guests and family have left having a lovely doze.

Living in our little shed and watching our roaring fire - it was unreal last weekend to discover that my cousin was caught up right in the middle of the Mumbai attack at the Taj. She is home and safe.

Boys are brilliant - everyday the excitement of opening an advent calendar remains. They even seem to like my chocolate free one, although cousin Karon came to their recuse with one full of Malteasers. We have a daily count down to Christmas presents and I have to say - I can't wait too!

Presents all over the house, hidden in full view...

Thieves (dogs!)

I went clubbing on Friday (oh, please don't laugh). I went with some mums from school to the town’s Premier (only) night club and had a ball. Disco goddesses us all...if I ever wanted a 25 year old husband...I know where to go...I think I shall do that again!

The weekend was filled with 4 cool kids - my two and the twins. A & B came to stay for the night. On waking from my night of teenage disco dancing I announced to J that I thought a campfire was in need, but only if we could have lights. At 2pm the ark lamp was ready to roll. It is getting dark at 4 ish now so we hoiked the children down to the campfire in the middle of the woods, began to try to light rather damp wood, poured the lemonade and then with a clever little switch from me in the kitchen - there was light!! The trees looked stupendously eerie lit up, but at least this time we could see what we were eating. Yet again the old bangers and beans and Planet Rock on the radio. I reckon a couple more goes and we will have cracked this. The kids had great fun playing hide and seek with light up teeth in their gobs. The only thing you could see from behind the trees was lit up fangs!

This has been an important week for me. I found an official letter last week and thought "oh no...What haven't I paid now?" But it transpires I am now the proud owner of Scouse citizenship (thank you outlaw - you know who you are...it has only taken 18 years...!) The boys are now allowed to say baaathe and paaath again.

Dad's anniversary was last week. It was a hard day, but better. Weirdly anniversaries are better than some normal days when without thinking I will go for the phone to tell him something I think would tickle him or make him proud and then have that millisecond of remembering he is not there.

Work has begun on the front drive again and J has put in the same iron railings that are down at the river along the driveway between us and the neighbour. It looks fab and very manorial. J has also developed a new skill...dry stonewalling with logs. We had so much wood from all of the tree lopping he has been up to that we had to find a way to stack it and we now have two walls between the turning circle bit and the garden which are made of wood, all ready to dry for next year. Just as well, as we have found out that the woodman is due to retire next year. We should be in time to burn our own.

On the fire front - roaring away everyday, and interestingly one on the few things I haven't named yet. If you were looking into my psyche what would that mean I wonder?

Henry and Dot are incredibly happy today - amazing what a whole join of Lamb can do for the mind and body. They can barely move from the front of the fire. J said when he told them off for nicking it he could swear Dot looked at him and thought 'well if that is the best you can do on the shouting front, lamb thievery is the way to go...'

All happy and dogs full of roast dinner!

Oh, and we have a Cuckoo Clock...

Pooped

Had a whirlwind of a weekend, and now glass in hand I am about to run a very big bath and have a soak...but before I do - what excitement here.

Well first news is about the house and J's new skills - buying things off eBay. For a while now J has been a complete Luddite when it comes to all things computer. He has however become rather a dab hand at bidding for things and after a conversation about how it would be good to have a squashy leather beaten up old settee we now have one all the way from Kent and for the bargain price of 25 English pounds! It is quite a cool settee and yes incredibly comfy. Every action has a reaction and so the consequence of the pristine purchase is that the hot water tank (which used to be in the little room I'm in now), is now housed in its own little shed attached to the Shed. This means we have a full wall against which to rest the sofa (oooh - shall I name it!!? she looks like a Stella the sofa to me) and a proper little second sitting room. There is a weird bit of wallpaper we have found - just above the skirting board about 2 foot square - sea shells circa 1960...just this little perfect piece amongst walls of plaster...odd.

Following the action/reaction theme - the bath water has been running brownish for the past few days as the tank had been disturbed - but a girl can't have everything.

J and I spent the day on Friday shutting Bella the van down for the winter. It was so beautiful and sunny down there, but she scrubbed up well until next March. But you never know what will be lurking when we return.

Today has been a day of 3 parties - hence the need for a good old soak. This morning the boys were off at Ollie's Pirate party. J and I drove to pick them up and change them into their suits (!) We then had lunch with all of the family for mum's birthday. For a while it had felt as if my family had shrunk a bit, but today there appeared to be hordes of us again. 4 generations of us with Great Great Auntie Lois as matriarch - all of the babies and all of us in between. Even J in his squire’s outfit - check shirt, hacking jacket (you get the picture). We had a wonderful time and I am stuffed. Home for a quick change back into mucky gear and to the neighbours for their childrens firework display. My heart was in my mouth a few times when the rockets appeared to be heading for my rather flimsy felt roof - but Shed is still standing. The boys had a ball but I think I shouted loudest!

I may have found somewhere to have my 30th birthday party - got to see my decade out in style.

Jeff is looking up cuckoo clocks on eBay - I live in fear!

Happy, full, tired, worried about chirping clock and about to fall into Stella.

007

Boys are back to school tomorrow, everything is ironed(just let Alf tackle his own shirts...slightly nerve wracking but we got there)all PE kit appears to be ready to pass muster and we have had an attempt at homework...

but all of this holds no fear for the couple of spies I know live with...

The in house cinema has been back at full pelt with this weeks showings of Goldfinger and Dr No. Chas particularly likes the dancing women on the DVD intro. Guns have been blazing and J does a good impersonation of any evil character the boys want to make mincemeat of. There is a slight variation on the game where Alf is a spy and Charlie a small dog who follows him everywhere and mends his gun wounds through the use of magic medicine...this may be a hangover from meeting Kevin the dog in spain as charlie dog is definatley a pointer too.

We had an attempt at some Halloween fun when Alf and I hung cobwebs up in the bedroom - fake ones from tesco - it was all a bit superfulous though when I looked up and realised the shed has plenty of the natural kind of spider work to offer. Hoover came out and I spent a good hour or so hoovering every ceiling and wall. Shed is still standing without it's internal framework of dust and cobwebs which is good news.

Today the end of the half term was celebrated in quite some style. The men of the family went to the real cinema to see the latest Bond movie with their great little friend Jack and his Dad. Alfie is already planning when he can see it again it is SOOO brilliant. Alf and Chas think Jack is fantastic and have been nattering away about him all the way to bed. I apparently have to find a way where they can all have tea together at least once a week to play spies and fighting. The boys were all as good as gold when we all went as families to the local Italian and now full of pasta and dreams of saving England from all those pesky baddies are fast asleep already.

another day..another mission

Sun and Spain

Just back from the most wonderful five days in Spain staying at the best B & B you will ever see...www.cortijodelsevillano.com

We took the boys back to Spain to have a family break in the middle of the half term and my goodness you would have thought we had won the parenting lottery. The B and B is run by Gail and Mick who the boys now consider their bestest new mates. Nothing to do with age here, more the ability to connect with little boy’s sense of adventure. Having arrived at 11 in the morning the lads were straight in the pool - freezing or not - once you have swam in the Mole a pool at the end of October holds no barrier to excitement. And all this before they had even met Kevin.

Kevin - well where do you start.

Kev is an English Pointer and hotel dog by profession. His hobbies include pointing at his ball (but always with his backside as opposed to his nose), walking around permanently with a ball in his chops, hanging around in the general area of small excited little lads at all times, wagging his tail in the most excited of welcomes and of course lying in the lap of comfort as the whole lot of us cuddle and snuggle up to his beautiful comedy face. I can quite believe he has his own fan club as if he doesn't Alf and Chas are about to start one.

Mick made the boys holiday by taking them for their first ever camp fire - men only and complete with ACDC on the stereo. I can’t believe we have never done burning sticks in our own garden, rectified now!

Food.

Food needs its own paragraph here.

Gail is now the new love of my husband’s life. One mention of Steak and Kidney Pudding (diamonds and pearls to J) and it was presented. I think the right statement here is 'now you're talking'. I have never eaten like it. Alfie took himself down to breakfast most mornings to partake of the choice on offer - cornflakes, and some small Spanish honey covered stars - and anything else his heart desires. Quite honestly there is a cookbook or gastro tour ready to explode in this place1

We came home chilled out and on landing at Gatwick, chilled through. We made straight for the end of the garden, built a campfire and cooked sausages. The UK version needs a bit of fine tuning - we could not see what we were eating and it was bonkers cold but - from sun to snow... all happy here

Where did that summer go...?

As you can see this blogging took a back seat as fun and sun took hold over the summer...

I don't even know where to start. So some simple highlights:

A scorching hot holiday in Spain
Every weekend at the Caravan, suspending the reality of work by leaving at 6am on a Monday to get to town in time
Feeling shattered but happy at work until a sausage sandwich took hold
Saying goodbye to best friends as they emigrated to Oz
Both sets of Canadian Outlaws visiting and playing
Stu swimming in the freezing cold sea with Charlie
Drinking a little too much wine in the Ship
Watching Brendan learn to ride his bike
Henry's tonsillectomy! (J has told the boys that the vet got the wrong end...hence Henry is Henrietta)
Crabbing and then making the car smell of squid
J setting up a football club
Chas and Alf learning to swim on holiday
The dogs discovering Plum and her chums
Alf staying up until 2am listening to bad Spanish rock on the beach
Swimming in the Mole after work
Deciding that I can get to Chichester from town after work

Then summer ends...

But, no worries here in the shed as the winter plans take over...

The cinema is back - watching films as soon as it is dark. Friday night after school is now cinema club time. We have had to do Pokémon a few times which is not the height of Oscar award winning class, but with little faces watching their giant silver screen in the comfort of the shed...worth every moment.

The football club is now Saturday mornings; I have even found myself rather happily making the tea. Afternoons are spent running around our newly flattened garden or those of our friends, and the fire is bristling away (maybe soon even able to use our own wood!). The seats are out down by the river and hide and seek begins in the wood.

warm and cosy, and about to eat roast chicken

The car movie club

We have a new mantlepiece! It is wonderful, made of wood with 2 bookcases slash toy boxes either side. Pride of place is given to a small DVD/TV player, a sitting Buddha and a fruitbowl - green and white striped and full of bananas and chocolate biscuits. Above the mantlpiece hangs a new clock - not just a time teller - but also a baraometer and a thermometer. Air pressure and centigrade are now part of our language.

The only slightly odd thing about my new piece of furniture is that it is in the back of Big Blue John the Second - the car!

J turned the bank of three seats around the other way and as well as placing normal homely fair on the wooden wall decoration also carpeted the back wall in fetching grey cast off carpet. All precious items are held on with blue tack against the rock and roll of the car as we drive along and the dogs sit calmly at the boys feet as if in a moving sitting room. I thought the added touch of a fake fireplace, a vase of plastic flowers, and a mini bar, may finish the motif rather well.

I have begun lobbying for BBJ II to be renamed Lenny the Lounge, not getting anywhere though. You have to love J and his imagination - we took the boys down to Bella the van for the weekend and the journey was exactly timed for them to watch the transformers cartoon movie from start to end. Lenny the lounge, ok BBJ II, came through with flying colours this Saturday... 7 children in the back - doors to the 'car movie club' firmly closed to adults and an adventure from 7 til 9 - you really cannot buy that type of fun.

I nearly exploded with pride this week as Wednesday night both boys polished to the nines and Chas with clean (and blowdried!) hair were presented with their prizes at school. Chas raised his hands for a hug from the person presenting them only to have his hand then held in a grown up hand shake (the row behind us let out a collective ahhhh) and Alfo busily making sure his blazer was done up just so before he made it onto the stage. Not only have the boys found this school a wonderful place to go - especially after A's first school- but J and I found ourselves biting back tears on Friday (their last day for the summmer) as we had to give a fond farewell to Charlie's form teacher. All gone a bit soft haven't we. Finding the fees is all worthwhile when you see how far they have come and how happy and confident they are there. There you are I said it!!

So the beginning of 6 weeks adventure begins...

This time of year for the past 3 has meant that I am now home alone whilst the boys and J enjoy fun at Bella, but Celine (my car - I have only just realise writing this that I name everything no matter how mechanical?! - to keep you in the loop she is Celine because she is French with a big nose)...

Anyway, Celine's back brake went for a burton this weekend. Alf, Charlie and me were beside the road for 2 hours waiting for the rescue wagon. Never have I been so charmed by Ninetendo! They played like little cherubs on their DS' Lites til we were finally delivered home again. I think they think that I had the time planned as time with mum as they were totally unfazed - I on the other hand needed a very large glass of wine. The good news is they are here at home with me to ferry me back and forth from the station. Good girl Celine!

Finally my weekend injury...Alfie and I were playing football on the beach today. He tripped his foot over the ball and landed flat on his bum, I laughed went to kick the ball in glory - tripped my foot over the ball and landed with a thud on my own backside. I fall from slightly higher than him and with a bit more ballast behind me so my left hand derriere is now a different shade of black and blue.

All happy and living in luxury (!!)

catch

Just come back from attempting to light the fire! I seem to be getting a bit better at it and can really get the kindling into a rampant flame now. All goes horribly wrong as I try to put real wood on there - need for J to step in as the 'man of the house' and get it going for real. I am sure I will crack this one day. Fire is on as it is rather gloomy tonight and as soon as it starts licking against the glass again I remember how much of a heart to the shed it is.

Had a busy old week. Only one week left now before the boys break up and they are absolutely exhausted - all this education takes it out of them. Soon a six week holiday to recharge their batteries and brains. We went to the school fun day this weekend and then back to our old road to visit with our old neighbour. It felt so weird being back there looking at the outside of the old house, but not living there any more. You realise what having close neighbours is like. Standing outside we had about 4 conversations with people as they walked by. Good to see them again, but strange to think that here we can go days without seeing our nearest and dearest.

J has begun clearing the front garden here and has thinned out some of the vegetation. My previous list of things I could see (moped, caravn etc) has now dwindled to nothing as the rag and bone man has come to take anything of any metal value away. J is also beginning the metal fencing along the front path which makes the driveway in more obvious and clear. I suppose you could say we are getting there with the land, but there is still a long way to go.

The newest craze in this house for boy number one is tennis. I have had about 8 games over the weekend, and every now and again I test his throwing and catching skills too. For those of you that don't know I pride myself on my near championshhip level thowing ability (trust me - I am great at it!) I am pleased to announce that number one son has the same superhuman skills. I threw a tennis ball as high as I could manage and calm as you like A stood underneath it - reached out - and held on. Dad would have burst with pride as my inherent ability at this fine old sport - catch - comes straight from him. Son number two will soon be put through his paces!

happy, warm and chucking balls

The day I nearly caught a deer by Henry the dog

well not quite, but by the look of Henry's face it was an experience that will live with him for a while. I was sat outside in the last few rays of sun, when out of the corner of my eye I saw the white flash of Henry hurtling up the garden. As I turned to look I realised that there was a young male deer running straight for me with the dog in hot pursuit. Quite beautifully, the deer took a right hand turn and galloped away from me. He leapt over the fence into next door's garden, but not before Henry had actually put on the accelerator and was catching him up. Henry sat stoically at the fence knowing when he was beaten. He then sat right in the middle of the garden looking first at where the deer had come from and yearningly towards where it had gone. If there was a thought bubble above his head I am sure it would say 'bloody hell, nearly caught that!'

This week we have had the fantastic news that both the boys have won class prizes. I am so glad that we moved them to this school and obviously it has paid off and they love it there. They both had book tokens to buy a precious book with (to be inscribed and presented to them at prize giving no less!!) We spent Saturday morning in a great bookshop choosing the right class of book...A has gone for 'Our Island History' a heavyweight tome following the history of Britain from Romans to Victoria - and Charlie...he has the Enclylopedia of Mr Men! As my Dad would have said ' well done, well done!'

Today Alf had a birthday party which was a circus workshop with a guy eating fire and lying on nails. He thought it was wonderful and definately heard the 'dont try this at home' message loud and clear. I took Chas to the new park - a brilliant Childrens dream of swings, slides, pirate ship and water...we met the world and their wife there - my cousin, 3 members of his class and even my friend's little girls out for a day with their gran and grandad. Home for the footie though and whilst both boys are up late cheering for Spain, I thought I would take advantage and write this. I will learn to like it!!!

Henry is now zonked out next to me, dreaming of the one that got away...

another day, another deer

Toof

Alf has spent all day in front of the bathroom mirror quietly wobbling his tooth. I could not bear to watch as it was swinging around in his mouth and then finally at 5pm his perseverance paid off and out it came! A lovely big front tooth to match the one on the bottom he had already lost. Chas is beside himself that he may have over 720 days til he too can lose some teeth...but consoles himself with the fact that the very next one Alf loses he will be allowed to put under the pillow for the fairy. So proud we have taught them to share so well!

Our twin guests came yesterday for a sleepover, now aged 6 they were run ragged by me. First the massive indoor climbing frame for 2 hours, then my mum's to play on the swings and finally and hour and a half in the park playing on the new ship and swings before returning home for Doctor Who. My mission paid off and by 8.30pm there was not a peep from them! J and I had to sleep on the sofa bed - oh my god the word bed should not be allowed under trade description...more like a sofa plank. Rather tired this morning!

J took the children for a spin in Jack's bucket. Poor old Jack has been out of action for a few weeks, but has had a complete health check and repair by the wonderful Colin. A finer gentleman you could not meet. He has everything known to man to do with tractors in his little red van and spends hours lovingly getting the old boys going again. He used to work at the factory that once upon a time made Jack, he was there when Jack was sent out into the world for the first time and so I think he may feel that they are friends of old.

When we began the process of buying here - about a year ago now - Alf had been learning about Monet at school. The shed became known as 'Monet's Garden' by the boys as when we visited, bringing the lads with us for the first time, the river was full of massive lily pads. About a week ago they finally floated to the top of the river for this year and Monet is back...

Have I told you we have curtains in the bedroom!!! No more waking up with the sun and rather taken with the ability to sleep in the dark....how novel...

All tuckered out.

reclaiming my story

Have come home to discover the impossible has happened...the interweb is working once more and i can finally scribble again...

so apolgies that blogging today is a bit like buses, but writing all this down has become a slight OCD for me.

what can i tell you..

Alf has been presented with 2 trophies footie today - one for playing a full season and one for most improved player. My sister once won a cup from a man called Percy Verance so maybe the winning streak carries on with my boy. Bless his heart he had them in bed for me to see when I came home and once shown ceremonially kissed them before placing them by his bed for him to see as soon as he wakes up.

Another thing that tickled my fancy today is what Chinese star signs we all are...I am delighted to announce I am a Monkey, J appears as a horse, and the lads are Snake and Sheep...fancy looking www.holymtn.com/astrology/year.htm - another way to see the dynamic of the family C...

Happy horoscopes....

Bella beckoned!

and broadband broke...alliteration at the beginning - not bad eh must be feeling the wordsmith.

The sun finally arrived just in time for the boys' half term holiday and we headed down to the caravan for rest, relaxation and RAIN! We had the most wonderful 10 days, especially when it poured down and Jeff got 8 little boys all dressed in wetsuits to play rugby on the field in the rain. They had a ball sliding around the place.

The shed remains much as we left it, although it has been spring cleaned. We were worried that by removing some of the dust and mud we may have removed what was keeping the structure standing, but he is obviously made of stronger stuff than we imagined.

We are waiting for the diggers to come back to finish the last 1/4 of the garden, they have been held at bay for the past couple of weeks while we have been away, but hope to return next week to polish it off. Already the garden looks better and the good news is that we have not flooded no matter what the season has thrown at us.

Big Blue John the car finally gave up the ghost and we have had to retire him...but never one to miss an opportunity to make something - I came home from work to discover that Jeff has cut the roof off the back of the car (a Renault espace) and turned him into a truck! The boys jumped into the back held on like the 'A Team' and were driven around the land laughing and joking... We have a new half van/half car and in true family fashion he has been named. I am afraid the name calling was not massively inventive as once again Charlie won the day and he is called 'big blue john - the second'. I suppose if it is not broken you don't need to fix it!

Finally, very exciting news - the basin has been plumbed in the bathroom! No more brushing my teeth at the ktchen sink or watching people stare at the basin as the water they have turned on puddles onto the bathroom floor. Little things...

All happy and harmonious

Balance

In the interests of this not appearing a totally idyllic story I have put some thought into what is not right about living here. Having read other blogs recently I considered steering clear of the trusty list. But, I have to say this is obviously the easiest way to describe what you think - so apologies - but this is what is in my head:

What is troublesome:

1. Greenfly come in through the bath room window and die in their thousands on the loo floor
2. My car exhaust has a massive hole in it from driving up and down the badly kept lane to our home.
3. There has been mud EVERYWHERE!
4. People ask if they should take off their shoes when they visit us.
5. We are all in one bedroom and we have no curtains...I wake up every day at sunrise
6. My clothes hang on a half made wardrobe or piled on the side and seem to grow in front of me
7. I keep shopping in Tesco! I disappear for a chicken and come home eighty pounds lighter. Clever people!

The big dig finally began this week with the top soil removed at a pace of knots. The first machine that arrived was not much bigger than Jack, and the poor sod kept having his front bucket come off. Either which way though, Matt, the chap that is making all of the difference, did a fantastic job and within one day had cleared about a quarter of the land. Alf announced that Matt was the best person he had ever met as he had made us a tennis court and a footie pitch in one swift move.

Day two a big mean machine arrived and off they went. It looks amazing and our 'bund' is great against the neighbour’s boundary. The boys run up and down it, the dogs think it is the best for smells and Jeff and I stand on top and survey our land! In a week we have to work out how to grass the whole garden...

The big dig continues this week and by Wednesday the whole site should be cleared. The guy in charge got out of his cab the other day and shocked me as he is even taller than J. About 6 and a half foot of niceness...

All happy and about to be awakened to the joys of grass seed...

Dip

I can now speak with experience.

On Thursday I came home from work early to pick the boys up from school. It was absolutely scorching. We came home and did the usual mucking about, eating tea, getting into pj's and finally getting them into bed. I then went for a wander - you guessed it - straight down to the river. I sat with my feet almost dangling in, deciding that the 6 foot drop from my vantage point could not be where the boys and Jeff had gone in. Then I upped sticks and walked around to the river bend and the mass of garlic. To say I was underdressed for my lonely adventure would be an understatement. I became completely surrounded by stingers and decided there was only one way to my goal. I began to shout for Jeff!

Finally, I think he may have decided that I had fallen in and hot footed down to the river to find me standing stock still amongst my bed of nettles. Always the gentleman he made a clear path and helped me through - but only once he realised I was trying to get into the river and not just being a princess. Anyway, kit off down to brass-ear and knicks and I bravely ventured forth. Your feet sink in right to the tops of your ankles at the river bend and I did do a lot of screeching. Jeff jumped in and offered me his arm and off I eventually launched. The boys are right - as soon as you round the bend the floor becomes gravel and hard underfoot and the water is just delicious - cool and tinglely. I finally climbed up through one of the trees roots and was back on dry bank.

The rest of this weekend we have been on holiday. We did not leave the shed, but with the sun shining and the Jeff-made barbeque, if has felt as if we are in another country. My sis and her new little family came on saturday and we chilled in the garden eating, drinking and just having a wonderful relaxed time. We were all presented with Massey Ferguson caps , thoughtfully discovered by Simon - so we really look the part driving Jack now!

When they left on Saturday night the family C hit the river. All four of us - Chas in swimmies and wellies and Alf in swimmies and Crocs - jumped in to cool off the day's fun.

I lost my shoes in the mud but became a very cool mum as I went for a proper swim whilst Jeff just did a walk up and down. I have a sneaking suspicion that Jeffers did not swim just to make me look better and braver for my boys...I will take the glory anyway.

Alf has developed championship level tennis on the car parking bit of tarmac - amazingly he takes on anyone and still wins - but some of the rules remain rather difficult to follow. Old fart that I am, I have today written to Radio 4 offering Alfie and Charlie's services as guerila reporter on all things Transformer. Having seen them decide to put their 8 week old cousin through a master class in Bumblebee and Optimus Prime I have decided that they are ready for the nation! Not sure if the life on Cybertron is up to the Radio 4 standards, but you never know.

If you are of a sensitive disposition, please look away now...

One of the aspects of baking hot sunshine in our household is that Henry develops his 'summer balls' I know this is not really the kind of things that you may want to read about - but it really makes me laugh. This big white dog poddeling along everywhere with the biggest, pinkest set of you-know-whats! My mum has always said I should knit him some knickers and with the heat as high as it has been this weekend - I think she may be right.

Still no sign of the big dig...maybe monday? you never know...I may yet get to tell you about the big pile of mud if they eventually ever get here.

Happy and very red!

Swim

Did not have to be Sherlock Holmes tonight to realise that there had been some fun and games at the Shed without me!

I walked in after a hot old day in London, to find two little sets of wet swimmies lying on the living room floor...aha I thought, Jeffers' little river plan has come into action and sure enough cuddled up in bed were two rather excited little boys. You will have to forgive me if this is wrong in translation, but I have heard of the adventure second hand...(shame)

Having come home from school the River Mole took over. Jeff and the lads wandered down to the river bank in fetching swimming trunks and took the plunge. When Jeff had to jump in after the Henry about 4 months ago the river was freezing and right up to his chest. Tonight apparently it was cool and now only as high as the top of Alf's tum. They tried to walk around the bend but came across a very muddy riverbed and a slight sinking feeling. Once they moved back on to the straight bit the floor is gravelly and hard under foot. Alf walked through the water to the opposite riverbank and climbed out to run around on the field facing us which he delights in the fact is 'public' and, therefore, he can charge around at will.

They were beyond excitement. I think I am going to have to warm up to joining in as I am still not quite there on 'swimming with the fishes'.

I learnt something yesterday that has quite caught my imagination. Desire lines.

A definition for you:

Desire lines (or natural desire lines, as they're also called) are those well-worn ribbons of dirt that you see cutting across a patch of grass, often with nearby sidewalks — particularly those that offer a less direct route — ignored. In winter, desire lines appear spontaneously as tramped down paths in the snow. I love that these paths are never perfectly straight. Instead, like a river, they meander this way and that, as if to prove that desire itself isn't linear and (literally, in this case) straightforward.

We have created our own set of desire lines in the garden and the most marked one is the one that leads straight to the woods and river and then across the top of the river bank and through the bluebells. It is wonderful how your feet show your true feelings about a place! (goodness me that was deep - maybe I am a bit tired!)

Amazingly the big digger boys may be here tomorrow...it has not rained and the weather forecast is good so everything crossed work on the earth may begin this week - mud here we come. Interestingly the onset of big big machines and diggers seems to have caught the interest of every man I have told. Must be something to do with men and machines or even boys with their toys. I do hope they come as I can't wait to see what the land looks like completely clear and flat.

Oh, by the way, I may have changed my mind a bit about wild garlic - my god - in the heat it hums! Maybe we shall have just a small area from now on - I can feel a bit of ultra gardening coming on.

All happy and hopeful.

the inside

Great weekend, which inspite of various levels of illness, was spent down at the caravan...

We enjoyed the sunshine down at Itchenor, my nose slightly more than I meant it too... played footie, ate lunch and once again took part in championship crabbing. For us in the know, high level crabbing is achieved through the usual crabbing line, net and bucket but with the savvy addition of squid as your bait! The gang of boys, Alfie, Charlie, Paddy and Felix see off all comers as they dangle their seemingly innocent crablines into the crab pool at the Witterings - but whilst other children pick up one or two tiddlers with their promise of mouldy old bacon - the boys have a field day, tugging up the biggest, meanest crabs around and in some cases up to five bold crustacean all holding on to one piece of squid. Clare and I always give in in the end and share our secret...offering squid to every other child around to join in the fun, but not until we have stood proudly watching everyone else try and work out what special 'crab magic' our children must weave!

So for my crab baiting friend...the inside of the shed!

Enough of the outside - let's see where we really live...

Well, our well appointed shed is rather like a big caravan...

We have one big family room slash kitchen where we spend all of our time, warmed by the wood burner that I still struggle to light when I am on my own. There is no other heating in the shed beyond the fire, but we have found that we don't need anything else - even when it is minus something outside and raining. Jeff ripped out what was here before and has put in a new kitchen which rather incongruously in a shed has very posh appliances - the plan being the cooker etc stay in the new building - so why not buy them now.

Ablutions are carried out in the bathroom - which alongside the loo and bath houses a washing machine, tumble drier and washer drier (always so much washing!). The dogs have a bed in what was the old hallway, but which now houses the wood for the wood burner, coats, shoes, computer and the rustiest old water tank you have ever seen.

The final part of my living jigsaw is the bedroom. One only - we are all in together - the boys beds at the foot of Jeff's and mine.

Charlie thought he would take you on a tour of the palace...and I hope you like the photos...

I asked the boys what they liked about living here. Alfie said - the river we can dangle our feet in..Charlie said - transformers can land in our garden...so good all round!

happy, red nosed and relaxed...

ear, ear

I have just sat outside the front of the house, a place, recently, I have ceased to venture and here for your delictation is a list of what we have out there: a chicken feeder, a 1980's moped, an outboard motor, the shell of a caravan, a water tank, some corrugated iron, a loo and a massive pile of tarmac...

now you know why I don't go there...

Been a funny old weekend. All of our plans and high jinks have been scuppered by poor old Jeff's ear. He has the most awful ear infection and is now on his third visit to A & E. He has been given massive donkey drops of antibiotic and pain killers but nothing is touching it. We are now sat eagerly by the phone waiting to see if he can see an ENT person tonight. Poor thing is really struggling and has spent most of the weekend in bed.

Jack had his own trauma this week too. Jeff and John have spent the week putting in our beautiful metal fence along the river top. It looks brilliant and makes me think I am going to be shrieked at by Mr Kemp (my old headmaster) for 'going out of bounds' and 'causing a disgrace' if I venture over the top and over the line! It looks like it has been there for ever and makes the whole wooded area feel safer as the boys would have to climb through or over to get down to the river's edge now.

Poor old Jack got stuck... He was down by the river's edge helping along with the fencing as the brute force, and the mud all became too much for him - he is 50. Stuck in reverse gear he had to spend the night by the water until the neighbour arrived with his own ancient massey ferguson and pulled him out teaching us along the way how to pop an old boy of a tractor out of gear.

I have spent most of today in the woods, the sun has been shining and I cannot resist the call of the trees. Accompaning the bluebells I now have really pretty little while daisy like flowers (not been on shootgardening to identify them yet)..and the most amazing amount of midges! You come out of the woods looking like Pigpen from Peanuts with the midges this time buzzing overhead - have to find a cunning plan for the summer.

I have been bonding with Dottie and Henry through the power of stick throwing. Dottie is a strange little thing and chases the sticks and then hides them behind a particular tree at the bottom of the wood. I went to steal some sticky things back for the fun and games and she had a hoard of 21 of them. If we ever need kindling for the fire - I know where to go..

Dad's birthday is on the horizon and I am thinking about him quite a bit. I suppose this is it forever now - certain occassions will always make me miss him? I love it when I see him in the boys though - they always makes me smile...

One more look out of the front door and I spy...

a water pump, a coal skuttle, a set of metal cupboards, a 1970's rocking horse and an old fishing rod...the Generation Game for 21st century. Jeffer's has the chin!!!

All happy (J just gone to another hospital so him too I hope)

moo

Ok, about 2 hours ago I was standing at the edge of the river trying to calls the cows on the opposite bank down to me so I could show you a picture. I whistled and then mooed and mooed louder, unbelievably, it was working... then a pheasant squawked and away they ran...not going mad honestly...just excited! Who would have thought cows were scared of birds!

I am home alone tonight as the boys and jeffers are down at the caravan living the life of riley.

The weekend began on Thursday for us, the 'baby' turned 5! We had presents and singing before I set off for work and Charlie was beyond excitement at his nylon yellow dressing up outfit - he is now Bumblebee personified! I dutifully went to work, but inspiration overtook me at 7.30 at night when, on the way home, I discovered that with only 4 more stops I could be in Chichester and therefore the caravan with the lads! Got there on the wings of impetuosity at 9.30pm! It was worth the look on Jeffers face when I jumped out of a cab in my work regalia - unexpected and a bit over excited! (me not him!)

We have been down at Bella Belvadere (the van) for the past couple of days since, and I have come home to iron school clothes ready for their return on Tuesday- the pile is winking at me from the table...

Itchenor was gorgeous, we walked the dogs to The Ship with the boys and their gang of friends cycling on ahead...they love it there, surrounded by their friends and with an element of freedom that we cannot give them at home.

I came home and was so excited to see the garden again. It really is something in the sun. The other night I came home and thought 'why is Jeffers walking around by the river at his time?' When my eyes finally adjusted to the distance I realised that it was cows at the bottom of the garden. They were here again tonight and hence my need to photograph them for poserity.

I double checked with Jeff twice before I left Bella about how to light the fire...oh..it sounds so easy when you know how. 1 hour after coming home, having lit and blown and lit again...I became really rather 'female' and called for help. No, I am not a fire-starter, but I now know someone who is...Simon. He walked in, scrunched up some paper, lit it and now I have a roaring fire.

The bluebells are here! I have a blue line through the woods...Jeffers has also begun putting in the iron fencing along the bank so there will be a line beyond which the boys cannot go. There will be gates in the fencing, but it is very reassuring that they and their friend won't find an easy way down to the river.

Alf has spent 5 months saving up for a DS Lite. On Friday he got there and down to Tescos we marched. Having bought the ninetendo, the boys asked if they could have tea in the shop cafe. But of course! we chose cheese and ham sandwiches and a plate of chips. Sitting down to eat, the boys tasted their first ever chip butty - stuffing chips into the sarnies with flair. Alfie announced that he had never been to such a great restaurant and that when he was 18 this would be his restaurant of choice - he would even concider holding his 18th birthday there - so fabulous was it!

All sunny, happy and mooing at cows

A weekend of 2 halves

I have read my notes through recently and have thought that I have become slightly weather obsessed living here...but this weekend it has been all about the elements.

Friday was glorious...bright blue skies and a big yellow sun...At 8am I was outside sitting by the river having a cup of coffee thinking that life was so wonderful and that everyone should live like this. Jeff I and the boys spent the rest of the day outside and I even dangled my feet in the river - first time! I nearly slide down the rather muddy bank into the water and the smell of the garlic was high. The beef stew mum mentioned...The water was cold and refreshing, but I think I am going to be a bit squeamish about swimming in there amongst the fishes as is Jeff's plan for the summer.

Heath Robinson moment struck at 5pm!

Jeff and I had been talking about a barbeque all day and on returning from the shops I saw what he had in mind. Jack has a new job.

Jack was driven half way down the garden with a home made oven in his bucket. Jeffers lit the fires under 2 brick built cooking areas and away we went. Hamburgers and sausages from our very own tractor. We stayed out until 8 and then the chill finally got to us and in we went. What a happy day though.

Saturday. Jack showed me 'what for'!

I was not feeling too tip top - a bit out of it really. I was about to take the boys out to bet on the National and have a pizza whilst trying to answer Alfie's questionning about what happen to Shergar...when I drove the car straight into Jack and his bucket. Instead of remaining calm I then drove as fast as I could forward and took the whole rear bumper off. 1/2 a hour later and Jeffers' dab hand a forcing the bumper back, on broken back light and bumper held on with insultaing tape and me with a very small little voice shouting 'jeffers, jeffers'

At 3.45 into the betting shop I went. Jeff and I sneaked into a pub whilst other parents minded the children and did not win!

Woke up this morning to a white covered garden. I could not believe we had been lying in the sun 2 days ago. We wrapped our hands in socks and plastic bags and made for the powder! I began work on the snow man ably aided by Alfie and Chas. Having finished this little man, work began again in earnest this time on a snow boy and dog...

At 11am - the power cut out! No electricity.

We spent the day the 'old fashioned' way - reading, listening to the radio and for poor old Alfie generally getting very bored. If you are going to have a power cut though have one with a wood burner in the house. We were warm, ate a proper breakfast cooked on the top of the burner and had hot water for teas to our hearts content.

After 5 hours the power came back on...and with it the noise. Jeff and I have thought about having a 'parent made' power cut once a week...

Now we are having sunday lunch and I am about to ice 16 fairy cakes (but that's another story!)

Hoovers

The rain is getting to be really rather bothersome now! Still no sign of the great big wagons that are coming to take the top off the ground...it just never stops raining or drizzling long enough for us to persuade Ray (the man with the machines) that it is good to come!

The river came over its bank again today and my wild garlic is now marine garlic! Anyway, not really to worry, as where there is a Jeffers - there is always a plan!

Jeff spent today in the back garden hoovering up water. Years ago Jeffers bought a carpet cleaner - and not just any old carpet cleaner, but one with a 40 litre bucket attached...it has come into its own. Apart from pumping out the house on my birthday - it was today used to pump the water out of the soil and gulleys that we have going through the garden. Always leaning on the side of Heath Robinson...

This is how it works...

First - you pump the water into the carpet cleaner.

Then you tip the water into the rubbish bin thoughtfully provided by your local council

Then you put the bin on the tractor and drive it through the garden to tip the water into the river.

Mother of invention has nothing on him. We will have to see whether this cunning plan is enough to entice Ray.

The rest of the weekend has been taken up with friends and fun.

All happy, covered in mud and enjoying watching Jeffers from the window.

Bank Holidays

Snow

Snow and rain and some more snow...

Had a fun old weekend, never quite sure what the weather had in store - one minute great big dollops of icey hail, the next sunshine and today, finally, a great big flurry of proper snow! We went for a yomp in the park with friends and their children and marched along the muddy path, throwing the ball for the dog whilst the boys shot each other with twigs. We decided to go the long way round building up an appetite for lunch in a pub and got caught up in real, proper and fabulous snow. It did not stick, but my I felt brilliant - a two hour walk in the cold - it was marvellous.

Fell into a pub with our friends whilst Jeffers took the boys and Ollie home to get some clean clothes on. I was just ordering when in they came - Alfie dressed to impress in a tie and school blazer. He announced that as he was going to be eating out he really should dress up. He is such a chap - I am going to have to buy him a proper jacket and tie for these occassions when he needs to look his best. He and Ollie also went to the bar to order their own lemonades and Alf ensured that he had done his jacket button up. I wish you could have seen their faces - they were so delighted to be grown up enough to order their own drinks. They were apologetic that they could not order for us as they were not allowed to be served alcohol!

Had Susie, Simon and little Ben here for lunch yesterday and I managed a 2 hour cuddle with Ben! It was wonderful...

Condemned!

My plan for the past 2 weeks has been to spend the easter holiday rebuilding and lovingly making the 5th shed into the boys' all new, super and billion dollar den...

Marched out today at 11am armed with pruners, gloves, heavy coat, Alfie and huge amounts of vim and vigour...The sun shone and we went to work. We cut back every last bit of bramble, we hacked at every lose hanging branch and then we were ready to attack the shed.

Alf has put a lot of thought into the final design and I was beyond excitement at being able to create the perfect hang out.

When we opened the door the 5th shed appeared quaintly full of bits of wood and spiders webs and so I stood at the door and began throwing out all of the wood I could see no future use for - carefully to the side went a door and a rather nice thick bit of wood that I could see making a wonderful shelf- the rest began the perfect bonfire pile.

Alfie - who is slightly nearer the ground than me - kept saying as we ploughed through the wood, that it smelt. I, of course put this down to a fussy 6 year old and told him I would continue alone whilst he fought off the dinosuars and prehistoric animals that were surrounding us. Off he went - large stick in hand growling and also measuring the rain water (a scientist at heart).

A fair pile down, I was congratulating myself that I was making Jeffers the best bonfire ever and my first born son the den of dreams - when I have to say it did start to wiff a bit...

Looking down - I found the chicken feeder, then the metal feeder, the beginnings of a wasp's nest and then the biggest pile of chicken yuk...

I bravely fought on thinking 'bleach will sort this' and decided to just take out the last remaining scraps of wood so we could really get a feel for the dimensions and possibilities

Ever the brave mother, I then screamed and ran as two rather sweet bunnies came leaping out of the stack right at me. Caught myself laughing at my own patheticness but nevertheless...

The den is now condemned to a quick and fiery end.

Chicken pooh, wasps and a rabbit warren are slightly too much for me...

I have found a good company down the road that come and build you a den to order. I am rethinking this bonanza and may have to hand this over to professionals.

Not a lot

A great weekend of nothing - due mainly to the fact that poor old Jack has two flat tyres and we can't get him mended until Monday. Jeffers was back with the shovel and brute force - oh the disappointment of not having a powerful old boy to help with the heavy work! So Jeff had a couple of bonfires and chopped down some unwanted trees and we have just spent the weekend generally mooching about.

The great big diggers did not turn up this week due to the rain and boglike nature of the ground. The machines would not get up here for a start and even if they could the ground is so sodden that taking off the top layer would just have made for one big mud bath!

We are now waiting for enough of a break in the drizzle and rain to have a few clear days for the big wagons to come. The up side of this is that we (ok Jeff) has had extra days to really clear the land ready for the onslaught. It looks amazingly different and you can look out of the back window right the way down to the river bank - which is now a complete thick carpet of greenery about to spring into blue and white delight. It really is going to look stunning when all of the woodland flowers are out. I have discovered a new website called http://www.shootgardening.co.uk/ (recommended by a client at an awards do - you do find the strangest things in the strangest places), but it is great for looking up some of the new plants and flowers as they sprout into life. I can tell you we now have wood anenomes - not doing the latin names just yet - may this will come along with the green fingers.

The den has gone which would have made me sad were it not for the fact that the newly discovered 5th shed has now been earmarked as the new improved version. I could barely contain my excitement and have drawn a plan for my vision! Alfie has done likewise and must be learning at his father's knee as he managed to draw his version complete with dormer windows, trap door opening into the stars and an attic conversion...

You enter the den by walking across the rain drenched land, through a time portal and into the realms of the dinosaurs - but of course!

I wandered down to the river yesterday afternoon for a quick walk about with the dogs and found myself still sat there an hour later just contemplating. I am sure this is good for the soul. Alfie returned from his first game for the A team and was so caught up in the excitement of the beautiful game that he decided to take his mum on at a game of one on one. We found a bumpy track of relatively dry ground and marked out two goals. Now, I know that I do not understand all the ins and out of the rules of football, but the Alfie school of refereeing really did me in. As I now understand it - If I score a goal this may be disallowed as either I was too near, too far, or maybe I kicked whilst he was doing a special football skill...either way I lost 10 -2.

I bought the boys weather measuring kits today. A weather vane, an anemometer to measure the wind speed, a compass and a thermostat. I can tell you that at 2pm today the weather was drizzly, northerly winds of 13 km and hour, a temperature of 13.4 degrees c whilst inside it was a cozy 20.5 degrees. Good eh! I think my next adventure will be a metal detector to uncover the roman hoard probably buried somewhere in the mud.

All calm, tranquil and covered in mud

Ben

The best news ever...yesterday my sister had her baby! A nine pound bouncing boy called Ben...he was brilliantly overcooked at 15 days late and is wonderfully aware and so sweet and calm. I have had my first adventure as an auntie - feeding, cuddling and then giving him back! (now I know what my sisters have enjoyed with my two)....Gorgeous. It was quite emotional knowing that he had arrived as it makes it very obvious that Dad is missing from the fun and love - I know he is watching so only had a little cry.

Alfie and Charlie did a star turn today and dressed up in their best clothes, including ties for them both and school cap and blazer for Alf, to go an meet their little cousin. Good to know that the need to wear the right attire for the right circumstance is flowing through them even down to the socks they chose.

Susie and Simon look elated and tired and it brought it back seeing Susie struggling to walk properly. I cuddled as much as I could before having to hand him over - would have been there all day.

This exciting news was slightly better than the middle of the week...

Jeff has been clearing the garden like a demon in preparation for a company that (weather permitting) arrive tomorrow to take the top 16 inches off the land. You may recall I put my back out badly attacking the brambles - but this was nothing on what happen to J...

On Wednesday he was outside, covered properly and wearing goggles as he used the full- powered strimmer on the brambles - all was going well until his goggles fell off. As he bent down to pick them up a stringy and violent branch snapped forward into his face. Eyes wide open...the thorns hit him square in the eyeball. Ouch I hear you cry! and ouch indeed.

He spent 3 hours in A & E whilst they put dye in his eye and washed them. 4 thorns in the eye that hurt and 2 in the one that didn't. He has been in horrible pain, which seems to be subsiding now - but being a man on a mission this hasn't kept him off Jack...

The land is now completley cleared of the detritus that was scattered everywhere - from old burnt out bonfires, brambles (long may they burn!) and every bit of nonsense we had been left. It looks so different - and massive! Even taking down the wire fences has had an effect on the scene around us. We have also found another shed - that is 5 now.

Tomorrow - as long as the gale doesn't arrive and according to Metcheck (our new best friend) it won't - we will have a gang of men coming to take the top soil off, add drainage and then leave us with a very muddy plot of land to re-sow with grass seed. This should hopefully stop the land feeling quite so bog-like and make it easier to manage in the future. We also have the iron railings arriving en masse tomorrow ready for Jeff's next great adventure of putting in paths and lines of demarcation in. All go here...

We have had the plans begun by the guy that did our last two houses and have decided to put in for a 4 bedroom house using the existing footprint of the house - effectively going up a level and adding a bit to the downstairs. The front of the house will appear as a 1 and 1/2 storey with small dormers whilst the back will be glass dormers across a proper second floor. Jeff and I normally bicker at this stage as to what we want with loads of tooing and froing - but there has to be something about this place - independently we both drew the same plan. Consensus hits the household.

We also played guest to twin 5 year olds this weekend for a sleepover. Wonderful - all in one room. The twins in the boys' beds and the boys sandwiched between Jeff and I. At 7 o'clock this morning one of the twins opening words were 'when can I get on the tractor jeff?' Priceless fun!

Muddy children, muddly dogs and muddy us...can't get much better. Oh yes you can-became Auntie Mimi!!!

Pong

We have had an abundance of greenery appearing all along the river bank. It stretches all the way down to the water and onto the area that when flooded was about half way into the depths. We knew that the thin leaves were the beginnings of bluebells, which as you drive around this neck of the woods in spring you can see turning the floor into a carpet of blue, but the other stuff seemed to be ever thicker and we have had no idea what it is.

Now we know...it is wild garlic and it looks rather like a big field of wild garlic! Randa and Mum came today for lunch and after traipsing down to the woods we picked a couple of leaves - broke them two and wow what a smell!

Mum made me feel great by saying that pretty soon the river bank will smell like 'stew', not too sure how I felt about this. It doesn't conjure up the best of pictures does it?

...Friends over, ' hey, let's walk down to the river's edge and dangle our feet in the cooling water - just sorry about the smell of beef stew'...

Anyway, having now done some looking up on the interweb (think you call that research), it is really rather great having wild garlic. It seems that you don't bother with the rather small and insigificant bulbs and instead it is all about the leaves. You pick one leaf per plant so they keep coming back and use them in cooking. They have very pretty white flowers as well, so I now have dreams of a bed of white garlic flowers and stunning bluebells all along my river bank.

This morning I took advantage of Jeffers taking the boys for a swim and alone in the garden I practiced ultra-gardening. This consists of hacking back and maiming anything that I don't know what it is...

It was a jungle out there - me against the brambles. I wasn't really equipped for the job with yellow rubber gloves a pair of blunt garden scissory type things, oh and a rake. Just perfect for chopping my way through the egde of the back garden. One hour later, my back out of joint and a blister on my hand, and no you could not really see the difference, but I knew I had been there.

My sister came today and was placed on Jack the tractor. She started in the lowest gear for all of a minute and before I knew it she was hurtling around the garden, laughing in a slightly uncontrolled manner. She finally brought him to a stop, with a mad look in her eye and sheer enjoyment written all over her face. We both agreed it would have been Dad racing around the garden, turning tighter and tighter circles and at more and more of a pace, probably until he tipped the tractor over. Shame he is not here to have a go, funny though to think about what a devil he would have been...

I tried to demonstrate my skills at picking up things with the tractor. Obviously as the eldest sister it falls on me to try to out do my sisters at all times, but all I achieved was scrapping bigger and bigger wads of earth onto the bucket. I clambered off as soon as I knew it wasn't going my way - Randa remained suitably fun forgiving me my total ineptitude. I only realised today for all my tractor driving - I didn't know how to turn him off!

Do now!

A Boys Own adventure

J hit the back of the shed today - drove the tractor straight into the wooden shack!

The tractor is now called Jack. The family put names into a hat with the agreement that unless all 4 of us agreed on a name it would not be considered. Charlie held his hands firmly by his sides and refused to vote until the very last name came out. You guessed it - Jack. One day he will have to negotiate for the UN as his poker face remained in place until the last bitter moment when his choice of name appeared. Alfie did the perfect big brother role and congratualted him heartily. Gone by the wayside were my choices - Claude and Keith, dismissed were Jeff's Fergus and Bob and with 3 votes Alf nearly had a victory with Bertie and Tommy, but Chas was having none of it. Jack he was after his 20 mile slug home and Jack he is now!

Back to the smashing of the house...

We have had a weekend of little visitors.

First arrivals were Amy, Ben and Emily who we know from the caravan. Ben was treated to the tractor ride of a lifetime. To begin, Alfie and he sat in the bucket of Jack and were driven around the land, being finally lifted as high as the tree branches to pick their own leaf - who says leaves can't be special. Ben was still clasping his on the way home... They were then moved to Jack's cab and driven at quite a lick around the garden. Ben's face was frozen somewhere between fear and sheer over-the-top excitement. His mum, Jennie, was leaning more on the side of fear!

Today Brendan and Dominic came for all the fun of the farm...Dom at only 3 opted to sit in the bucket with Charlie and Alf, as Jeffers drove them low to the ground and through the long grass. Brendan hopped in the cab with Jeff. Tonight they were driven royally around the garden and delivered to the back door. At this point Jeff misjudged the side of the shed...

I won't over egg it - it is a small divot, but when you live in a shed every wooden wall is important!

As to me...

I have bumped Jeff off Jack a couple of times - it seems only fair as he has all the fun!

I did not have any work to do with the tractor...so just drove Jack round and round the garden and getting faster and faster. How brave I felt - top gear and 3rd gear...speedy has nothing on it!

My godness how empowering, and I have convinced myself that with the amount of physical effort it tkaes to use the clutch, I will never need to worry about going to the gym again.

I was laughing last Sunday as I drove around the back garden, I was power-scraping mud off the garden with my trusty tractor. So, at night I was driving Jack, ploughing my field and the next day I would be back in London discussing brand equity and data driven marketing...could my two lives be more removed from one another!

all well, happy and full of fun!!!

A new baby

We are now the proud owners of our first tractor! A 1958 Massey Ferguson and even though he is in his 50th year he is a fine old gentleman and addition to the family. J travelled 20 miles to bring him home going no more than 7 miles an hour through the countryside and down every B road he could find. He has been named Fergie, Jack and Tommy dependent on the member of the family you are talking to, but has revolutionised moving stuff around. Life will never be the same again.

I have had my first lesson on Fergie and although I was feeling awful with the tummy bug that is doing the rounds, I was having so much fun I forgot all about the knot in my stomach and stayed on board for an hour. J was relegated to 'ganger man' and had to make do with a shovel and spade as I moved earth and broken brick around. The boys love him and on the first morning we had him were out in the front bucket in their school clothes getting lifted above the fence to wave at me in the shed. A has mastered the art of lifting the bucket up and down but C stayed on his dad's lap and pretended to drive.

we now nearly have a driveway and my car exhaust should be able to last a bit longer now as it does not have to take a daily beating across the rock filled mud.

Sunshine was out again and J and I once more took up our seats in the sun, glass of wine in hand and imagined we were on holiday.

We have (or rather Fergie the tractor has) managed to losen the old football net out from the overgrown trees and brambles and so already A and J have been out for a game of penalty shootout - needless to say A put 9 goals past his old man.

Sunshine

My goodness, what a wonderful weekend, and all down to the sun beaming down on us! Spent all day yesterday outside...either perched by the river bank with J, sat on my chair eyes shut to the sun and just relaxing, or playing raiders and tree climbing down in the woods with the boys. The sun was warm and so welcome.



We rumaged around in one of the sheds outside, which up until last week has been covered in thorns and brambles and discovered 3 old bicycles. armed with cloth, foot pump and WD40 we began putting them back into working order. J has laid half a new driveway using stones and tarmac chippings from the local recycling plant, and so A and C could pedal to their hearts content up and down outside the front of the house. A was especially delighted that his new found bike had BMX written on it and whizzed around until the chain came off. Having rediscovered cycling we got the blue one that Mighty and Grandad bought him out and challenged him to cycle through the bumpy back garden down to the woods and along the river bank. Strong legs powered him all the way down.

At 9am this morning A got in a grump and announced he was leaving home. Within 10 mins he had packed a bag(a bug catcher pack) with soft toy, crisps and snack bar and persuaded his little brother that they should move to their holiday home. Sad to see them leave of course but delighted when the new home turned out to be the den! They found some green wire and have rigged this up to a tree in an attempt to bring electricity to their camp. It is great watching a 6 and 4 year old imagination running riot. The grump lasted about a minute the game far longer.

Sat again in the sun today and had Sarah, John and the boys over for lunch. Very relaxed and calming. Just great fun all round.

All Clear

Well as exciting as I thought it would be...last Friday I came back from dropping the boys off at school to find the track to the house packed with wagons! Well, two of them. Leading the way was the waste man, sharply followed by the drain company that I have held in such high esteem since deciding they were the saviours of our loo.

The fun and games commenced. We may have found one manhole cover, but it soon became obvious that this was not the cess pit. The truck was ready to pump out the poo, but where was the way in?

J was out armed with the petrol strimmer and taking out the cormer of the garden covered in brambles, these were deemed to be covering the way in to the mess below. After about 20 mins and the cutting demise of the blackberry bushes for next year, we found the illusive manhole cover. There is was right underneath where everyone was standing and just outside of the shed. The broken moped we have in the back of the garden was lying right on top of it.

The cess pit draining man was wonderful. In went the hose, on went the truck and 10 mins later goodbye went 1,000 litres of waste!

The drainage guys then went to work. The good news is that the pit is really well built, if not a bit small - but it can be turned efficiently - in both time and money- into a fully modern sceptic tank. We will eventually end up putting clean water back into the surrounding land and waterway once it has passed through the system they can put in.

This is all brand new to me. I am so used to using a loo or running water and not thinking about what happens to the waste product. We are also looking into rainwater capture that would mean we could use this for our grey water in the washing machine etc. There is so much you can do when you are not so connected to the rest of the town.

Fencing and driveway are now the next mission. Fencing as you know has been chosen, and we have now sourced broken tarmac that we can use to make the driveway and somewhere to turn the cars round. At the moment we can go no farther than 10m from the house without hitting quagmire and getting the car stuck. All well and happy and flushing the loo for england without worrying about the consequences!

Is Canada reading?

Are the outlaws looking at this? If you are here you can keep up to date with the excitement and adventure of Meadowcot as we muddle our way through the mud, cesspit, animals and children!

The thing I am most looking forward to this week is a company are coming to clear out the drainage and actually tell us what we have here. We have been told it is a cesspit and have found a man hole cover, but for the life of us we cannot tell where it all leads to. They are coming to enlighten us...and something has taken hold of me as I can't wait!

The decision has to be taken as to what kind of fencing we have - rurally knarled wood to make us look like we have always been here, or more grand iron railings like they have round estates - so J's laird of the manor outfit (tweedy jacket, checked shirt and jeans - all bought for £20!) can be worn with pride as he surveys his ground.

Managed to get the boys to play in the den. Have a sneeking suspicion I may have built it for me rather than them. Packed them off with binoculars, walky talkies and food and a total bribe in the shape of a can of coke. They played for about 15 minutes - or actually as long as it took them to share the can of coke in a rather grand and grown up manner - and then they came in. I am thinking through new tactics...

pigs,chickens and dens

well the rain never came! we waited and waited, watching every looming cloud for the torrential downpour that was promised, but the trenches weren't tested and the house remains warm and more importantly dry. I suppose that there is a small feeling of disappointment that all of J's hardwork with a spade has not been challenged by the elements and we will have to live and learn another day.

We have made the boys a den in the back garden, complete with chairs and area to keep the footballs. You have to have a password to enter and sitting out there last night with the torches was a wonderful game. J had to persuade them to come out and play with me in it as I was getting rather upset sitting in my masterpiece alone. We have walls, door and a shelf area. I was deperate to put in a table and even found myself picking up and old framed picture to put on the 'walls' (tree) until I remembered that I was building this for small men and the titivating would not be needed when the den became a war camp in the battle against the baddies in the back garden. Armed with torches and twigs for guns sure enough we managed to protect the den and fought our way back to the back door.

J has been hunting out pigs and chickens for us to keep and I naively thought that the fact he was leaving the web pages open by accident for me to spot was just that. It turns out he knows me rather too well and knew that I could not resist the chance to look - the choices are Kune Kune pigs and Brahma chickens...

Brahmas as I rather like to look of the Abba esque flairs they have round their feet and Kune Kune because they look like bulldogs - who says there is anything scientific in this.

Will the rain come again?

Have now looked up over 7 different weather sites all of which announce that there will be more rain around this afternoon...We have dug trenches around the house - happily known as 'the shed' for the fact that it is reminincent of a 1970 scout hut - red wooded walls and green felt roof. After the down pours of Tuesday, which nearly floated us away, we are now waiting to see whether our attempts to make us less of an ark and more of a house will work.

The problem seems to be that when you stand in the garden you would be convinced that the land slips away from the house. Only when J started digging could he really start seeing where the lower points of the land are.

Anyway, all of this I am putting down to an adventure, the boys and the dogs seem totally unfazed and the fire is on! Warm, cosy...but dry??